Saturday, October 13, 2007

Hello, bright world!

Hello world, how are you today? I'm OK, just tired, and here. This weekend we are in Charlotte, we have Hayley this weekend, and Tony Watkins has drill this weekend, so here we are. Currently, Hayley is getting a bath, or not, I think she is running through the upstairs naked; she is running from her mommy...and I am here, down stairs, in the living room, on Rebecca's laptop...sitting.

It's almost inconceivable that Tony has been gone for nearly 2 months now, it has seemed like a lifetime, and it might as well be one, but on the bright side, Tony is half way done! He finally moved onto white phase, which means he has more privileges, which means he can actually call me every once in a while, that would be great, I miss his voice so much, he did call the other day, like a week ago, no, he called on Monday, and, just like last time, towards the end of the conversation, I start crying because I know he'll have to hang up the phone and I don't want him to. Plus, I normally just want to cry when I answer, but I'm holding it back as much as I can, but it's always so hard, I'm so overwhelmed with hearing his voice, that I just can't help it. Then of course once I do hang up the phone, I sit in my room and cry for 10 minutes, and because I don't want to burden Sarah or Tony W., I try and do it as quietly as possible...which most of the time never works, but I try...Tony said I was probably one of the strongest people he knew, but I didn't understand why, I mean, god, I was crying, all because I re-sprayed my snoopy with my honey's Hugo, and just the smell took me over. TWO WHOLE MONTHS HE'S BEEN GONE, it seems like eternity, and when he comes back, I hope that he reads this and knows how much I really miss him, I'm miserable, I think I'm even depressed without my better half, I had plans to do things while he was gone, like organize the shed, organize the house, and finish my cross-stitching thing that says "Tony and Miranda Married this day, July 14th, 2007". I really want to do this, but I just have no urge to do it, my urge is technically to never leave my bed, but because there is a world out there, I really have to get up, despite not wanting to...

I do think, now that I've pondered it a while, that I will start the wedding thing, it's really pretty, so maybe I'll just do it, I really want it to be done before Tony gets home, so I can kinda surprise him with it, that willl be cool.

Well, it's now my turn to get in the shower, so I think I will, I'm dirty. BYE world!