Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Hello world...how are you today? I'm fine thanks. I am quite tired though. The Miranda has been working very hard every day. Work sucks. My feet hurt and I'm sad. I'm not sad because my feet hurt, well, not entirely, I'm sad because I miss Tony. I did get to talk to him Sunday, It was awesome, but it made me cry just about every time I thought about him since then...it's hard to hold it in. Sometimes I just don't want to hold it in, I just want to let it all out, you know, but I really don't want others to see me cry like that, because most of them know my situation and hopefully they know how I'm trying to be strong, because I have to keep telling myself "it's only a fraction of a fraction of time that he will be gone, then I get him for the rest of my life." I mean come on, we've been together for over 3 years, 41 months, specifically. He's only going to be gone for less than 4. How can I not keep my chin up and be strong? Compared to the rest of my life, this is nothing. But holy crap it was so good to hear his voice. I miss that so much. I miss everything. I miss him hogging the bed at night. I miss hearing him say "make me dinner..." I even miss him yelling "mother fucker!" or "fucking spawn-rapers!" at his game all the time. God i just miss him. ALOT.